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Know your Circle

0 Comments 29 December 2009

Hey guys, we often talk about knowing your clique, and recognizing the unique qualities of the women around you. This is important, and I thought I’d give some examples in my own life to give you an idea of what we’re talking about.

Most often on this board we talk about bar and club girls, and that’s where the blatantly sexual conversations and actions are relevant. However, I’ve been receiving some feedback from guys concerned about the more day-to-day kinds of activities and women that they meet. Because let’s face it, in the grand scheme of things, most men don’t meet their women / lovers / girlfriends in a club.

My example would be the theater scene in Chicago. I believe that women are women everywhere, and there are a lot of truisms I could say about women in general, but let me dig a little deeper in this particular scene, and maybe it will give you some insight into your own circle.

Girls in theater, when they’re in college, are sluts. True, many women are sluts in college, but theater girls, for whatever reason, take this to a further extreme. Perhaps its because of the confidence necessary to get onstage, or their ability to express emotion better. Regardless, women in theater are horny, and sleep with more guys than average in college.

However, they are generally interested in guys who have the same interests. College theater girls usually will get into any guy who is passionate about an art. It could be theater, or music, or pottery, or painting, whatever. But I know of few theater girls dating a chemistry major, for example. Unless they were dating before college, or met freshman year in a general ed class.

These girls, inevitably get hurt in college, usually badly. Because they’re training themselves to recognize emotions and to express emotions, I think that when they experience heartbreak they go through it 10X harder than an average girl would, too. So at some point their life is going to go crashing down on itself, which is going to make her more conservative about getting involved with guys after college.

How should a guy handle this kind of woman in college? My general advice would be this:

1) Be into what you’re doing. If you’re in theater to pick up girls, you’ll immediately stand out and no one will give a damn about you. Your enthusiasm for your art will be immensely attractive to women. Just think about all the musicians you’ve seen who are dicks but girls still fall all over them.

2) Don’t be afraid to be sexual – this is much easier than it sounds. Tell a girl how hot she was in student-written play she was in where she played the role of ‘Lust’. These kinds of things are not unusual to come by in the theater world. This does the double service of also letting her know that you’re straight, which is a big deal in theater, where about 50% of the guys are gay (I’m not even joking here).

3) Have fun. Many theater college girls are also in the “I reject the ’serious’ world” state of mind, and being open to having a great time wherever you are is key to show her that you reject the ’serious’ world too.

4) Don’t be afraid to go for it. Kiss everyone on New Years Eve. Have a Halloween party, tell everyone the sluttier the better. Theater people are hooking up all the time, you just need to jump into the clusterf*ck.

Now how does this change after college?

Most girls are LUDs (lesbians until graduation), and theater girls are no exception. Now the crazy, off the wall, hook-up-just-because-there’s-a-guy there time is done, in many girls minds, even theater girls. So for girls in their mid-20s and beyond, the game changes a bit.

First and foremost, she’s looking for a guy who can provide for himself. Suddenly, after college, you need to get headshots, auditions, and actually start landing roles. It’s still fun, but now the ’serious’ part of life is coming into play. You need to continue showing that you’re into your craft, but now you do it by doing the rounds in the industry, while at the same time not losing your love of having a good time.

professional headshot - she has them. Do you?

Girls are going to start wanting to be in relationships. Here’s the catch though: many of them were so unattached in college that they realize they don’t really know how to meet people. This is your time to shine. Suddenly, being the guy who will hook up with you and then not call you until the next party you see him at is a BAD thing. You need to show that you’re more than just a walking dick, hence you can’t be afraid to talk about what exactly you’re looking for in a woman, and your honest opinions on relationships. All those skills of showing your personality, being in the moment, etc that TDD talks about come into play big time. Because this is the time the number of women who want to be in a relationship SKYROCKETS, and they’re going to look for reasons why you’re better than any other theater dude.

Why is this the case? Because being in theater is BUSY. Working during the day, rehearsing at night, the days of partying till 4 am are for the most part over. Girls want to be able to drag themselves home to the waiting arms of their talented and supportive boyfriends.

However, most guys are still in that hook up with everything that moves point of view. Hence, they start to think to themselves ALL THEATER GUYS JUST WANT SEX.

You need to show a different perspective than this one. They know you want sex. You’re a theater guy, of course you want sex. You need to show other aspects of your personality to win her over.

These are my thoughts on the theater community, and I’ll bet you’ll see a lot of similarities between these and your own circles. I share them to get you thinking about your own situation in life. If you have your own perspectives to share, I’d love to hear them.

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