I finished my VST with Philip a few weeks ago and, personally, I thought it was worth it. First off, it’s catered to the needs of the class. Philip knows his shit and he’ll stick by you until you feel comfortable not only understanding it, but being able to bring out core values at will or sexualizing the interaction.

One thing I found critical in my relationships with mentors/teachers/professors, is how comfortable you feel around them. Instead of feeling intimidated to follow the gameplan like so many other teachers/professors begin a lecture or whatever, he’ll acknowledge if you’re struggling and step back with you until you understand it fully. You just develop a rapport with him like you can express your concerns without being judged or feeling like you’re hindering everyone else. Even in the 2nd week, we worked on core values for awhile because I wanted help understanding more of my own core values and he spent a long time with me in order for me to really understand myself fully.

That was my real trouble– identifying core values– and expressing them in a sentence or two that’ll really BE the 1-2 punch.

Like after the 1st class, everything I said was basically from the VST- talking about the mundane and then sharing core values we dissected earlier. I had the girl eating out of my hands…. it was ridiculous to the point that SHE was sharing stories to fit MY core values.

And let’s not forget sexualization. Although this was one of the biggest troubles I’ve had, Philip helped me become comfortable with sexual topics and expressing them to whoever and leading the conversation in that direction. Since then, I’ve never gotten a weird look or anything “strange” when I sexualized it. Just add a little inflection in the right places, a smirk, and you can turn anything sexual.

BUT at the end of the day, it’s the effort that you put in. Philip can help guide you, but he can’t walk in your shoes FOR you. It’s a process of internalizing what I learned and since then… it really feels like I’m in control. I’m no longer scared of conversation or interactions because no matter what– It’s sharing who i really am and my values and having other people do the same… my foundation is really starting to be really grounded in myself as opposed to outside forces.

Honestly, the VST isn’t for everyone- only those who are willing to put in the effort and the time to understand himself better and take the lead in any interaction. So why not? If you have any questions about the VST, feel free to hit me up.

While examining your lifestyle and deciding what kind of person you intend to be, don’t ever forget how important trust is for a woman to feel attracted to you. She must feel that she can trust you to be the person that you have shown her so far. Changes in behavior will call attention to you in a bad way, and many changes will lead to suspicion. Are you confident that you are trustworthy?

The more basic level of trust comes in your congruency, which revolves around the basic theories of TDD. The actions you take, the clothes you wear, and the words you say all create a persona for you in women’s minds. When you are a congruent person, with a well-defined lifestyle, and everything you say and do reflect these facts, then you will show her that you are a person she is safe to place her trust in. She has a very clear idea of who you are, and because of that, she will allow herself to begin trusting you.

Perhaps an example will help illustrate my point. Imagine if you walked into a lawyer’s office. What would you expect to see? A very traditional office, diplomas on the wall, heavy legal books with leather covers, a traditionally wooden desk perhaps. You would expect the lawyer to be polite and extremely professional, listening to you carefully, taking notes on a legal pad, and giving you his opinion at the end of your story.

This is a lawyer that you would trust. He is acting like a lawyer. He looks like a lawyer. He works like a lawyer. You trust that he is a lawyer.

Now imagine you walked into his office and it looked like a McDonalds. Bright yellow chairs, red plastic desk, drawings all over the notepad on his desk, walls with colored dots on them. He comes in wearing jeans and a t-shirt with holes in it. He puts his feet up on his desk while talking, and doesn’t seem to listen to you when you’re explaining your case…

This is an extreme example, but obviously you wouldn’t trust him to be a good lawyer. In fact, the second you saw the office you would probably leave right away. And it would be correct for you to do so.

Now what if, instead of everything being wrong, like in the second example, there were only a couple small details wrong? Perhaps he seems distracted when listening to you, and maybe he stumbles over the legal proceedings when explaining them to you.

You wouldn’t storm out like in the McDonalds example, but you’d probably feel like something ‘was off’. He wouldn’t seem 100% worth your trust. Maybe you couldn’t even say exactly why, but you’d have an idea that he wasn’t quite the best lawyer available.

This is exactly how women feel when a guy is trying to fake his way into bed with her. This is the kind of guy that is ‘off’ just a little bit. Its the kind of thing that often makes women raise their hackles without knowing the specific cause. It’s a fear that the guy will get ‘weird’ when they are alone, and she fears that he’s the kind of guy that will say anything he needs to say in order to sleep with her. Its the guy that seems to always be pushing forward, even though she’s not comfortable with him yet, but instead of letting her get to know him better, in a safe environment, he just plows and keeps trying to get laid. And even though this may not be your intention, it’s quite possible that you will come off like this.

So how do you avoid this problem? By being congruent in your personality. A solid personality and lifestyle will ensure that everything you say and do comes from a socially calibrated, trustworthy place. By developing these things you can be sure that you will never be ‘weird’ with a girl because everything you do comes from an honest and calibrated place. Plus, you are comfortable with your sexuality and therefore will not pull the kinds of moves that dishonest, untrusted, sexually frustrated “nice” guys do.

If you feel like you are not yet in this calibrated place (and don’t worry, most of us were there at one point or another), that’s why we’re here. The TDD Instructors have all gone through the process of developing their own core values, translating these values into a lifestyle, and refining them to such a degree that we shine in the largest crowds. By ensuring that we are also comfortable with sexuality we make sure that we do not come off like so many single guys do – desperate, pushy, and wanting sex with anyone willing to give it to them. By coming to terms with these issues, we become men of value.

If you’re looking to become a man of value, then at the very least be sure to look at our forum for regular posts from Instructors, Captains, and other guys who have found personal success through the TDD method. We also have programs designed to specifically address these issues, such as our private instruction program, or my own VST class. We have regular documented success of our philosophy, and I, along with the rest of the TDD family, hope you will find the lifestyle you’re looking for too.

I have often seen acting and improvisation class recommendations handed out to guys who are socially inexperienced, as it gives them an opportunity to work on standing in front of people, developing characters, and other similar skills. To that end, I plan on recording a podcast in the next few days talking about exactly what I’ve learned from performance over the past several years of my life, and to give recommendations as to what kinds of classes I would recommend you to consider for yourself. Topics I intend to discuss include:

-How acting classes encourage creation of stage character, and how these skills can help you develop your own personality.
-Why improvisation is not for everybody, but if you’re up to the challenge you can add a lot of fun to your conversations and your life.
-How being on stage brings core values front and center. The stage is mercilessly honest, and if you have a weak sense of self, it will absolutely manifest itself when you get on stage. Do you have the courage to expose yourself to that kind of critique?
-What I was doing when I really absorbed the lesson that, when in doubt, the best thing to do is to make a choice and stick to it.

Let me be honest, if you don’t have a real desire to get on stage then I doubt you’ll be able to get much out of these classes. It’s a very rough journey to start, but the people who have the drive to improve at it will push through anyway. But if you are considering getting involved in the acting world, or if you are simply interested in the lessons I (and others) have learned in it, this podcast will be for you.

Check back here on Wednesday…

Subject: Values WOW

Hey mate,

After our talk I consciously applied my values to an online convo with a girl and WOW. I don’t know another powerful, yet simple change in my conversations. I stated one value practically out of the blue and BAM! it was just like switching gears. All I had to do was relax, riff on my values throughout the convo and I’ll see her tommorrow. She said that “I’d never had a conversation like this, it’s refreshing,” and poured her logistics.

You and Troy definitely have powerful stuff going on. I’m glad that there are no TDD’ers in my town. I would lose all the girls.

*****

THIS IS WHAT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT. There’s simply no comparison, TDD is hands down the most effective company when it comes to training social skills, dating skills, and effectively attracting and closing women in any venue, at virtually any time. It’s teaches how to live the life that you’ve always wanted to live, doing the things that you enjoy doing, and drawing women into that reality.

After talking to him today, it sounds like descartes is really getting into this girl, and he couldn’t be happier. The funny part is, I’ve known him for a very long time, and his determination has always guaranteed that one day he would dominate the circles of intelligent and attractive women he hangs out with. Turns out I was right.

I’m glad that so many guys have found success through TDD, and that there are always more coming into the fold and realizing what so many of us have known for years. If you want to learn the simple truths about dating and attraction that so many Falcons, Captains, and Upstarts already know, if you want to understand the basic readjustments that your dating skills are missing, my Verbal Specialist Training program (VST) is designed to build up your weaknesses and turn you into the dynamo that every guy is capable of being. Of course, our live programs have always been the bread and butter of TDD, and programs such as Private Instruction or the Lifestyle Retreat (held in Manila each year) create intense results each year.

The Verbal Specialist Training program (now one-on-one) is located here, or you can read about Private Instruction here. And as always, you can email me at philip@troydizondating.com, or add me on Skype (username:PhilipTDD).

More importantly for this article, however, Groundhog Day is also an excellent movie starring Bill Murray, released in the early 1990s. Murray plays a bitter and unhappy weatherman who ends up mysteriously living Groundhog Day over and over again in a small American town. The same events, the same people, the same thing happens over and over again, and although he remembers everything that happened each time, obviously no one knows that he has all this information.

The movie makes for an excellent dating psychologist, in a way. He ends up falling in love with his producer boss and over the process of months (maybe years) worth of Groundhog Days, learns to love his life enough to become a man that she can fall in love with as well.

I highly recommend the movie, because I feel that Murray goes through very similar dating perspectives that I (and many other guys I know) went through when learning how to improve their life and get the women they like in their mind.

The first stage Murray goes through is mirroring. Each day he learns a little more about what his boss Anne likes, and so tries to win her over by telling her that he likes the same things. He finds out she likes rocky road ice cream, so the next day he has rocky road ice cream waiting for her. He finds out she likes snowy nights, so the next day he takes her on an evening walk. The result? He kisses her, she’s drawn to him, but she always feels something is a little off and so never fully commits to him (in the movie, she never sleeps with him, no matter how hard he tries). Sound familiar? I’ll bet every guy reading this went through that phase at some point when starting to get familiar with their dating culture, and never got things to work quite right. Something always felt off when trying to relate to women on surface level topics, and the movie very accurately portrays this.

The second stage Murray tries way too hard to win her over multiple times. Eventually he gets a little too crazy and loses the ability to even get a kiss out of her. Then he gets depressed. He decides that he cannot ever win her over, and in the movie actually kills himself (multiple times, though he always wakes up the next day again). Now hopefully you never get to that point, but I’ll bet that all of us have gone through that period of time when we feel like there’s no way we can ever win any girl over, we decide that we’re just not attractive, and give up to some extent. I went through that point, and as bad as it felt at the time, I had a suspicion that better things were on the way.

This is where things get good. Murray finally pulls himself out of his funk, and decides that if he can’t get the girl he wants, he’s at least going to start doing things he likes. He starts taking piano lessons (maintaining the knowledge from day to day, though from the teacher’s point of view he’s only had one lesson). He helps a homeless man. He catches a child who falls out of a tree. And then a funny thing happens. He begins to like himself. He starts feeling real affection for the people around him. He becomes a truly likable person. And in the process, ends up winning over the girl, almost as a side-effect of his personal revelation.

This process so closely mirrors the steps that I went through in learning how to improve my life that I was struck by the film. Most dating companies teach the first lesson, and simply allow men to attempt to learn the second and third steps themselves. For that matter, most dating companies only truly understand the first step. They pick up on the superficial idea that couples that are attracted to each other mirror each other, and they try to teach guys to force that mirroring.

Luckily, we at TDD know better. We realize that the best way to win over women is today’s dating society is to put effort into your own life, and actually become the kind of man that they want to date. This is far more natural, and because of that, it’s actually effective. It also gives you a real feeling of self-worth, as you are doing exactly what you want to be doing. This satisfaction is a much greater sensation than any manipulation of womens’ emotions ever will, and it will make you a much better human being in the process. And there’s nothing better in life than that.

As many of you know, I am trained as both an actor and improviser, and perform regularly in the Chicago improv scene. The art of improvisation, if you are unfamiliar, is getting up on stage with a small group of people and performing a show, usually 20-25 minutes, long, with absolutely nothing prepared in advance. It is standard in Chicago to ask the audience for some sort of suggestion, and then based on your day, your experiences, or just whatever pops in your head from that suggestion, you start a performance.

It’s not for the faint of heart. You also may see parallels between this and what I teach.

There are improv skills that are learnable. There are also acting skills that are learnable. And while both of these skillsets come into play when it comes to conveyance, they teach slightly different things and are therefore you can learn something from each of them.

When it comes to acting, you learn conveyance in its simple sense. You learn how to check in with your body and how to tell if you have proper posture, or if you are sore, or even how you are feeling emotionally. Several years ago I was very disengaged from my emotional state. I honestly couldn’t really tell what my emotions were in any given state. Can you? Sure, its easy to tell if you are very angry, or happy, or sad. But how about at any given second at your job? Could you just randomly check in with yourself at any time and tell what’s going on?

It also teaches you to recognize the picture you are painting for yourself with your stance, how you talk, dress, etc. For instance, one night I was at a bar and saw a group of women in a corner. I could tell they were there waiting for someone to come over and have fun (looking around, laughing when a guy walks by but calming down when he walks away, etc). So I went over with a high energy level, fun vibe, and made sure to really knock their socks off. Now, if we were out together and I told you to do that, could you? Acting classes would help you figure this out for yourself.

Improv is a little different. Improv allows you to take this character you have developed, and how to not flinch in the face of anything that comes. I found improv useful in social interactions because neither I, nor anyone else, can control your environment and surroundings. You never know when something unexpected will happen (her friends come over, there’s a fight next to you at the bar, the power goes out). When that happens, do you trust yourself to react in the moment, and without dropping your personality or character? Or would you shut down and not know what to do next, and therefore expose yourself as a fraud to the woman you were talking to?

Let me be clear, if you try to create a persona that you are not, you will fail. Even the best actors in the world are unable to do that. Instead, they take aspects of their unique personality and heighten and project the best aspects of it. The Chicago improv scene has helped me learn how to do that. And if you feel that classes in either of these arts would be the kinds of things you’d enjoy, I’d recommend looking into classes in your area.

“What do I do when I want to date someone?”

It always amazed me that those ‘instructors’ never seemed to have a very good answer. Usually it was something ridiculous like “You shouldn’t get in a relationship because you need to practice your skillset.” What is that supposed to mean? Aren’t we in this in order to figure out what we’re missing in our lives? Aren’t we here because we want to figure out both a) the kinds of women we’re interested in, and b) why we aren’t able to draw those women into our lives?”

Well, most of the guys that were part of that initial rush of companies weren’t looking for those kinds of answers. They were just trying to get laid. And they ended up filling the market with fuzzy-hat wearing, stupid-jargon speaking social retards who made everyone in this industry look bad. Is there any doubt that Troy recently declined the invitation to speak at the PUA Summit in Texas? What on earth would he possibly be able to learn from that group of guys? Nothing. Because all they are is one big gimmick. And I don’t even think they’re trying to trick women into sleeping with them. They’re actually tricking the men out of their money. And it’s painful to watch.

I’m glad I never really bought into all that stuff. I mean, I filled myself with it quite a bit, back in 2007-2008, but it never felt 100% right to me. Even when I was considering working for one of “those companies”, and it got pretty far into the process, I remember my blogging and discussions with the instructors there were filled with talks about “the next step.” As in, “we have all this right here. But there’s still something else…” I refused to be content with what I was teaching. I wanted to actually figure out how to teach what guys were looking for when they invested $1500 into 48 hours of instruction.

I was fired from that apprenticeship.

But now I’m getting to know a girl that I’m seriously interested in. She’s sweet and funny and I we have a lot of fun together. When TDD talks about mutual agreement, it’s not a gimmick. It’s a way to get comfortable with each other, and that’s what the two of us are. I transitioned to sexual topics and we ended up with a very fun discussion on how loud sex can get before it gets distracting (answer? 47 decibels!) We met up again, saw a movie, had lunch, and eventually ended up softly making out while watching bad TV at my place. All of this is wonderful, a real life romance in every sense of the word. And if I was part of the “community” I would be torn apart in the forums by single men, typing alone in their bedrooms, blasting me for letting myself get attached, and warning that if I didn’t keep practicing, I’d lose all my skills and have to start over again when, inevitably, I messed up the relationship and she dumped me. They would then go to a porn site, masturbate, and go to bed. Alone.

I don’t regret leaving that community behind. And I don’t hesitate for a second if I see someone like that enter our forum. I kick them out gladly. Unless Troy already has a hold of them. In which case I prop the door open for him while he kicks them out.

This isn’t a teenagers wet dream. This is real life. And we teach you how to be successful in it.

Hey everyone, if you are interested in hearing me talk about the Verbal Specialist Training program, I will be holding two separate teleseminars over Skype, kind of a meet and greet for people already signed up, and also for anyone who has questions about the drills we will be working on, or the structure of the classes themselves. There will be two teleseminars held.

The Asia VST Teleseminar will be held at 16:00 Hong Kong / Singapore / Manila time on Sunday (very soon now!).

The US VST Teleseminar will be held at 16:00 CST (Chicago time) on Sunday.

If you would like to be a part of these calls, just follow these steps.

1) Download Skype.

2) Add me as a contact (username:PhilipTDD).

3) Let me know you want in and I’ll be sure to invite you.

Full details are listed on my VST page!  Go there now and get ready to amp your conversations to a whole new gear!

Philip

Hey guys, you may have noticed a new logo on the main page of TDD recently.

I’m working on a new program that’s based on the same design that has made the TDD Mentorship Program so successful – a program that doesn’t rely on cheap gimmicks, lame tricks, or weird stories. It’s a focus on REAL personal development, one where the benefits to your overall life are so large, that the girls are practically a side effect…

It’s a program that pulls together everything I’ve learned when it comes to conversations…. Every skill I’ve picked up to help me express myself and my core values. Every lesson in transitioning I’ve found useful… Every piece of knowledge that helped me get started when I was nervous just talking to a girl…. Every tidbit that helped me improve…  It took me a long time to figure out what makes conversations fizzle and die and what’s exactly needed to make them go where you want them to go.  And I’ll soon have them organized to help you…

I can’t talk about too many of the details just yet, but I will be announcing the complete program very soon via my newsletter, so subscribe now (on the right side of this page) so that you will be the very first to hear about the program that only I could deliver, guaranteed to blast through any murkiness you my have towards Verbal Skillset mastery.